Finding, losing and owning my 'Mo-Jo'

As my life has moved through it’s seasons - from an awkward teenager to a slightly less awkward adult - a few things have always been certain: what is my purpose? And, am I good enough? My birthday and New Year's Eve are always two occasions which bring about a huge level of uncertainty as I reflect on what I have achieved or more specifically what I haven’t achieved over the last year. My thoughts will often fill me with dread and cause huge anxiety as no matter what I have accomplished, it never seems good enough to me. We live in a society that places huge pressure on each individual to ‘excel’. We are exposed to the ‘ideal’ lifestyle, body type, accessories, beauty regime and relationships mainly through social media, at regular intervals during the day. Since becoming a mom I have become critically aware of the extra pressure placed on women in what is still seen as a ‘man’s world’. As women we have to juggle everyday activities in our stride. We strive to be the perfect wives, the perfect moms, the perfect friends, the perfect colleagues. There are no off days. And you know who our hardest critics are, ourselves. We constantly judge our abilities by the ‘ideal’ that we have created in our minds of what perfection is. This needs to stop, for the sake of all women out there and for your own sanity, enough is enough.  The idea of starting my own business scared the absolute day-lights out of me, not because I was scared of the hard work that lay ahead or the idea of something new but rather because I was scared of failing. Failing by standards that, at times, I couldn’t even comprehend because these standards weren’t mine, they belonged to other people, people in society that I didn’t even know.  In the lead up to our first event there were many times where I doubted what we were doing and why we were doing it. During our first event there were many times where I doubted what we were doing and why we were doing it. After our first event there was even more doubt and uncertainty about what we were doing and why we were doing it.  The few days after our launch event were some of the toughest days I have ever faced. I felt so down and I couldn’t explain why. When people asked how our function went I would say “Ok...I think.” I was filled with doubt about what we did, I questioned if the ladies had a good time and if our concept of Ladies Night Off was even worthy of pursuit. This was despite us receiving super feedback from all the ladies that attended and already securing some stunning sponsorship for future events. I suppose now you're asking yourself why we persisted with Pink Dust Events if I was filled with so much doubt?  We went back to the drawing board and remembered the reasons why we started this venture in the first place. I remembered that, like with all things in life, it’s easier to find the negative aspects and harp on them than find the positive aspects and praise them. The latter was something Sam and I made a point of doing going forward. We compiled a list of all our achievements and gave praise to each other for all we had done in such a short time. As time went on this list became longer and longer and as a result the self doubt and reservations became less. Was it gone? Not a chance! But when it did rear it’s ugly head, we would kick it back to the naughty corner where it came from because no ones got time for that shit. As each event came and went we made a point during the event to stand back and watch the ladies enjoying themselves. It was humbling to see up to 200 ladies smiling, laughing and filling their cup with the joy that comes from spending time with their girlfriends.  We continue to learn with each passing day and by no means have become complacent, the road to running a successful business while balancing all the other pressures we face is a constant challenge and we in it for the long haul. But knowing your worth, your purpose, definitely makes it easier. We only have one chance at this strange phenomenon called life and if you thinking about starting your own business my advice to you would be: DO IT! Grab the opportunity and do it fiercely.  So here I am: full time working mom, full time business owner, full time wife, friend, colleague and queen of everything- just like you! Yes you read correctly YOU ARE A QUEEN! Stop comparing your life and your achievements to that of those around you. You are amazing, you are worthy and you are so magnificently special...own it!

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